Beautiful and Happy Girl

Manifesting Through Self Doubt.

Creating your dream life in the midst of anxiety.

I know exactly what you are thinking… This stuff is not real. It is just another trend that will bring me absolutely no where but let me tell you something… Manifesting is literally believing in yourself; believing that you can do something and do it well. Good things can and will happen to you and to your life, if you 1. believe like it has already happened and 2. work towards your goals. So, please… Give this blog a read and see if anything resonates with you; maybe there will be something you can apply to your life!

There is so much self-doubt that runs through everyones mind, for me, this was a huge part of my life. I had so much doubt that I had put my dreams on hold and left them to just “wait” for the right time, until I was good enough, until I was strong enough, until I had more time, until I knew it would be okay… Then something magical happened… I experienced a shift in my perspective. If not now, then when? How much time would I waste on wishing I could do something instead of just doing it and dealing with the fear, anxiety, and possibly, failure?

I started writing a book with a goal. The goal was to get published and become a published author. The goal was to make my passion (writing) a career. So that I could better my family’s life and help out more in the spaces that I and my husband have chosen to put time and dedication into. I started sharing my writing on Instagram, with the goal of being heard and maybe inspiring some people. I made a Twitter, a Tumblr, a Facebook page, a Pinterest, etc, and I started putting myself out there into the world. I started to allow myself to dream. I started to allow myself to say “I can do this” all because I realized that no one starts off as “amazingly successful and rich.” We all start somewhere in the middle, I think.

Does this mean that I don’t ever doubt myself now that I have had this change in perspective? No! I still sometimes have doubts! It is so ingrained into our society to compete with others… in life but also on the platforms that so many people use to share their art, feelings, lives, etc. These platforms where we build careers and friendships…but I continuously bring myself back to focus. It’s easy to look on Instagram and say, “Wow! She is prettier than me and better at speaking… she has so many loyal followers and gets so much praise for her writing, etc..” and to feel down about it; like you could never measure up or be in that kind of situation. Whenever I am feeling down or unsure of myself, I take time away from social media and I sit with myself and those feelings. I remind myself that everyone deserves an opportunity to shine and that we can ALL SUCCEED!! We can all visualize and manifest the perfect life that we want and we can bring it alive as long as we allow ourselves the joy and the rawness of being 1. human and 2. being ourselves! There is no need to compete because no one can take your specific place in this universe. We each have our own unique, beautiful, engaging qualities that can bring our work, our purpose, our art, to light as long as we nurture our light, take care of ourselves, and work towards those dreams and passions.

I have found that I am most doubtful when I am not being my most authentic self and also when I am very stressed out. I have a tendency to obsess and be somewhat of a perfectionist. I also have a difficult relationship with who I am and how I desperately want people to see who that person is without falter. So, I sit with myself. A lot. I sit and I meditate, I dig deep and I figure out.. “Am I anxious because I’m doing this when I don’t really want to” or because “I said something I didn’t really want to say?” If either of these are the case, I tell myself not to do it or to let it go because it has already been done. It takes a lot of self motivation and self love to sit down and take negative thoughts and turn them into positive thinking.

Now once you have decided to try to manifest things and to seek opportunities that will push you forward into that manifestation it can be challenging. The universe is going to test you! How bad do you want this? I was just telling someone on Twitter…that manifesting can be scary but what if we took the word scary and we made friends with it? What if instead of scary we say, “exciting”? It changes our entire perspective and in turn, helps us manifest things that we want in our lives instead of focusing on what could happen in the “scary.” This can be extremely difficult when you have anxiety; sometimes it just takes over and you don’t have much of a choice when it comes to how you react but maybe, over time and dedication to coping mechanisms like deep breathing, yoga, meditation, or taking a walk when we feel overwhelmed…we can breathe into the anxiety, breathe it out, and change our perspective. Using affirmations can absolutely help us with this and I find that they truly a special affect. You will feel VERY silly at first, you will feel unauthentic, you will feel “wrong”, but the more you say them, the more you believe them….and belief makes all the difference.

All manifesting is, is admitting to yourself and the universe that you believe you deserve all the things you desire. Write them down, speak them out, whisper them in the dark; you are worthy of all your heart’s desires. You can read all the books, listen to all the guided meditations, go to yoga, journal, etc…but until you believe in yourself (or even pretend to believe) you will not be able to accept all that the universe has for you. Trying will lead to succeeding.

Thank you for reading and following me while I’m on this journey; I’m all new to this but I have seen so much happen in just the past year that I have been whispering, “I am worthy of happiness” that I have to share and hope that maybe, it works for you too.

Much love,
ReBecca DeFazio